Sacred Rituals of the GNC

Our home in the GNC is our first.  In NYC co-ops and condos, there are superintendents, handymen, doormen, porters and janitors employed by the building to service the needs of the residents.  For example, in NYC "recycling" consists of separating the New York Times from the days food waste (no larger than a wastebasket) and placing them in separate labeled sanitary receptacles no more than 10 feet down the hall.  The building staff does the rest. There's no going to the solid waste transfer station (in other words, the dump) with a dozen smelly 33-gallon black plastic containers filled with crap of all kinds, including several dead birds that crashed into the picture window in the high winds.

I have learned there are ten sacred rituals performed at prescribed times of the year by most homeowners in GNC.  These rites are not shared with newcomers -- you must learn them yourself  through trial and error before you can become a full-fledged member of  the homeowner's fraternity.  I am talking beyond mowing the grass and shoveling the snow.  These rituals keep us in touch with the grandeur of nature in the GNC.

1. The whacking of the weeds
2. The hogging of the brush
3. The pumping of the septic
4. The de-leafing of the gutters
5. The de-mouse-ing of the attic
6. The staining of the deck
7. The power-washing of the cocoons
8. The fumigating of the hornets nests
9. The organizing of the garage (to make room for the car)
10. The re-filling of the tiki torches.

Each of these has its own risks and rewards.  Sometimes the risks are high (hornets don't like having their nests destroyed) and the rewards seem negligible (the weeds need to be whacked again 24 hours later), but in the GNC, we keep on keeping on because Mother Nature never rests, Father Time marches on and the there are more damn mosquitoes than Chins in the Hong Kong phone book.