What do I know? When I relocated to the GNC from NYC, I was more worried about roaches and rats inside the house than weeds and critters outside. That was before I knew about the Beastly Giant Hogweed -- its straight out of Harry Potter! I'm sure its used in some sort of spell that makes Muggles allergic to the sun. It's true -- the DEC says the sap of the BGH causes a condition called "photo-dermatitis", sensitivity to sunlight. A bad thing, since there's buckets full of sunlight in the GNC.
The BGH can cause blisters that are painful and result in permanent scarring. On the other hand, it's flowers are beautiful, resembling an elegant white umbrella, like Pippa Middleton would carry at the Saratoga races. For those of us who don't know the difference between flowering weeds (like the BGH) and flowers (like the pretty what-cha-ma-call it growing near my mini-waterfall), it's scary. I probably would have cut it down and put the pretty flowers in a crystal vase, and thereby turned myself nocturnal overnight.
The DEC warns, if you come in contact with a BGH, don't touch it or use a weed-whacker on it, since the sap may splatter onto you -- and then you're a goner. Given the sensitivity to sunlight, you became a vampire, only going to the local pub after dark. You can expect "long term sensitivity to sunlight" -- not a good thing if you like to go fishing, hiking, biking or otherwise wander about the GNC during daylight hours.
Not to mention, "possible blindness".
Quoting the Times Union, "[The Giant Hogweed] was brought to this country in the early 20th century because it's an amazing ornamental plant. It can grow to 14 feet tall." Well, the one on my property is not quite 14 feet but, let me tell you, I've been humming tunes from "Little Shop of Horrors" since I saw it over there overshadowing the basil.
To report a giant hogweed on your property, call the DEC at 845-256-3111 and say "Hello, Hogweed Man? We've got a problem!". Then, stock up on sunglasses, aloe vera and vampire novels.
What happens when Mr. Midtown moves to an isolated acre in the Great Northern Catskills? It's Inconceivable!
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